At some point in every person’s life, you’ll face betrayal. It’s an interesting experience, especially for a cis man. For years, you might be the one doing the betraying, but eventually, karma catches up. Suddenly, you’re on the receiving end of this very unfortunate human experience. The question is, what do you do next?
Historically, we’ve taken some pretty gnarly routes to deal with betrayal—exile, revenge, public shaming, and, of course, America’s favorite: execution. But in my experience, it’s best to excommunicate the betrayer from your life and forget those other forms entirely.
We go about our lives, and then—bam!—the person you least expect reveals who they really are and what they actually value. It’s blindsiding! My first taste of betrayal came in 9th grade when the girl I thought was my girlfriend turned out to be someone else’s. And that’s how I became a villain! Cue evil laugh Haha! We all know the joke about that adolescent relationship that turned every F-boy into who they are today. This story is partly true, partly false—I’ll let you figure out which parts actually happened.
From that point on, I realized humans do what’s best for them in the moment. Most people don’t have the capacity to genuinely care for others. We act in our own interest—it’s how we survive. It’s almost always about us. That’s why having a child is so jarring! Suddenly, you have to think about someone else first. Even then, this is impossible for a TON of people (mostly men).
Betrayal is normal. Most people can’t help themselves. They’re wired to think, “How does this make me feel?” It’s like seeing a sweet treat when you’re trying to drop 5 or 10 pounds. Who cares—give me those cookies! It feels good in the moment to eat them, just like it feels good to hang out with that girl.
You know she’s your best friend’s crush, but F*** it. She’s cute, and you’re here. It’s not until you have time to think that you contemplate your poor decision-making. By then, it’s usually too late. The damage is done, and the relationship is unfixable. Boom! You’re the betrayer. We’ve all been that person. And we’ve most certainly been on the other side too. This is life.
Before you make decisions, take a second to think about others in your life. How would they feel? Do you care? If you do, make a choice that’s best for the group. If not, YOLO! Do you, have fun, and live with the results of your actions—or inactions.
Later,
Darrian
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