Growing up, my mother often told me, “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.” While I’ve generally found this to be true and deeply appreciate the lesson, I’ve recently gained a new perspective on this timeless advice. It’s made me reflect on our innate desire for external validation—a craving we develop as children, seeking approval from family, friends, and even adversaries. This need, however, is flawed and often distracts us from living in the moment.
We’ve all been there—searching for that external nod of approval to feel complete. Yet, this pursuit can leave us feeling empty, always looking outward instead of inward. My mother’s words, though not intended to address this directly, have led me to ponder the significant impact that others’ words can have on our lives, but only if we allow them to.
In moments when I catch myself yearning for someone else’s recognition, I remember the importance of positive self-talk. I’ve developed a routine that helps me affirm my worth: “You’re a bad MotherF*****. You’re beautiful. You’re a genius, and no one can outwork you! Everything you need is already within you.” I chant these affirmations until I feel empowered enough to take on the world. While this doesn’t always work perfectly, it’s a powerful habit to maintain.
When self-affirmation falls short, I don’t beat myself up. Instead, I embrace my feelings and remind myself that seeking external praise often feels awkward and unnecessary. What truly matters is believing in my vision and trusting the journey. This belief is another lesson I continue to learn from my mother. She is the most confident person I know. Growing up she never showed signs of doubt or despair. She worked tirelessly, set goals, and achieved them, creating the life she envisions for us.
In times when my internal drive wavers, I think of her. I picture her juggling multiple responsibilities, yet still managing to provide for us and take us to events, all while striving to give us a better life. Her determination fuels my own resolve. I repeat my affirmations and continue on my path because I, too, have a vision. It doesn’t matter who acknowledges my efforts because I’ve already propelled myself to new heights with my internal strength.
I’m sharing this to remind you that you possess this same power. You’ve got this. You can achieve your dreams, but it must come from within. Everything you need is already inside you. Stop seeking external validation and focus on nurturing your inner strength. Remember, as my dad often said, you are what you focus on!
Later,
DD
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